The Defective Parrot

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Joined: May Tue 25, 2004 1:01 am
Location: Ocean Bluff

The Defective Parrot

Post by prouddaddy » Aug Sat 25, 2007 9:20 am

A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch.
It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, "Jeesh, I wonder what
happened to this parrot?"
The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot."
"Holy crap," the guy replies. "You
actually understood and answered me!"
"I got every word," says the parrot. "I happen to be a highly intelligent
thoroughly educated bird." "Oh yeah?" the guy asks, "Then answer this -- how
do you hang onto your perch without any feet?"

"Well," the parrot says, "this is very embarrassing but since you asked, I
wrap my weenie around this wooden bar like a little hook. You can't see it
because of my feathers." "Wow," says the guy. "You really can understand and
speak English can't you?"

"Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse with
reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion, sports,
physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology. You really ought to
buy me. I'd be a great companion."
The guy looks at the $200.00 price tag. "Sorry, but I just can't afford

"Pssssssst," says the parrot, "I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants
me cause I don't have any feet.
You can probably get me for $20; just make the guy an offer!"
The guy offers $20 and walks out with the parrot.
Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of humor, he's
interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes,
and he's insightful. The guy is delighted.

One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot goes,

"Psssssssssssst, " and motions him over with one wing.
"I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife and
the postman. "What are you talking about?" asks the guy. "When the postman
delivered the mail today, your wife greeted him at the door in a sheer black
"WHAT???" the guy asks incredulously.
"THEN what happened?"
"Well, then the postman came into the house and
lifted up her nightie and began petting her all over," reported the parrot.
"NO!" he exclaims. "And she let him?" "Yes. Then he continued taking off the
nightie, got down on his knees and began to kiss her all over...."

Then the frantic guy demands, "THEN WHAT
"Damned if I know. I got a hard-on and fell off
my perch!" :shock:

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